how can u be prego again
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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