batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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