He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
