wat bout pragnant strippers??
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
