In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
