try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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