Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
