The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
