Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
