Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
