yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
