Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
