yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
