She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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