Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
