By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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