Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I FOUND THE LEGS
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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