Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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