I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
