O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
