Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
