you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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