yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
