did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
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