thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
