My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
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