You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
