Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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