I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
