"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
