I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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