I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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