he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
