Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
No subtext here. People are naked.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
