You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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