I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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