She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
