school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
