a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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