What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
