I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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