I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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