i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
