everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I think a kid would responsible me up
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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