At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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