You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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