We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
