What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
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