WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
