Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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