STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
