she kept yelling 'call me bella'
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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